The other day I watched a Chinese talk show competition on TV.  That episode’s topic was “laugh is the antidote of life”.  One of the contestants, in a simpering way, started to talk about a fan who he’d been acquainted with.  The fan, who is a girl, told him that her brother had been in a vegetative state for years and shown no response to anything.  But only when he listened to the contestant’s jokes, did he actually giggle.

While the contestant felt rewarded for his doing, he asked the girl if he could make up a joke on his brother and tell the audience together with the story.  The girl said, “sure” and assured him she wouldn’t feel offended.

And then he said the joke.  “When your brother laughs, he must be like a flower.”

I was guessing the “ha ha point” had something to do with his brother’s “vegetative” state.  I didn’t think it’s insulting, but neither did I find it funny.

My mind was just totally being occupied with the other thing.  The brother could hear sounds and his brain can process.  But he had lost control of all his muscles.  What kind of feeling is that?  It reminded me of some of my own experiences.  It was somewhere between dreaming and awakening.  I could hear the voice and people walking by me, opening and closing the door.  I could see vaguely only a corner of the room.  But I couldn’t move even a little no matter how hard I tried.  I mentally encouraged myself to try to move one of my hands but I couldn’t.  I rehearsed the words many times only my lips wouldn’t open.

The feeling was much worse than being trapped.  The mind thought it was me but it wasn’t.  It lost control of everything else that was me.  It’d worked as a leader but suddenly it had no one to lead.

The brother had lived in that state for years.  I can’t think of a scarier way of living.